Email Funny

It’s emails like this one that leave me sitting here thinking of all manners of smart-ass responses:”I would love to slap your Ass and cunt hole !! “This email was courtesy of a 41 year-old-man. Happ_ Dominque:We both fully understand the consequence and know that we are very young but we feel like we are ready.(11 [...]
_

Elsa:
How can I guarantee that my adopted black son will end up an NBA player?
(13 June 2017)

Elsa:
However, I d still love to father an NBA superstar.
(13 June 2017)

Elsa:
I love basketball and regret that I was not able to become an NBA start myself but it s okay I ended up with a high IQ, a graduate degree, and a great career in finance.
(13 June 2017)

Carlos:
Can my ex-girlfriend still report me for Section 8 fraud? I'm worried?
(13 June 2017)

Carlos:
We had a messy breakup and I kicked her out of the house.
(13 June 2017)

Carlos:
My girlfriend stayed with me for about 5 months.
(13 June 2017)

Carlos:
I know that I wasn't supposed to have my girlfriend stay with me in my apartment due to Section 8 lease rules, but I did it anyway because I loved her.
(13 June 2017)

Carlos:
To keep a long story very short, I am a 30-something year-old man on Section 8. My name is Dave.
(13 June 2017)

Patria:
I can't chose a boy! Help Boy X or Y?
(13 June 2017)

Patria:
He is hot and super popular But he hangs out with some boys that get into a lot of trouble, even though he usually can stay out of it.
(13 June 2017)